Today could be broken down into two major components:
1. I was in class
&
2. I wasn't in class.
As a student at Auburn University looking forward to graduating in just a few months, my mind is on the verge of totally checking out. I have to keep reminding myself, "that mindset is the material that fifth year seniors are made out of" (hold on while i get some headphones on), and this is something i DO NOT want to be. I'm ready to be done with college. It was fun, it was good, but i am honestly ready to not have homework. Being in class is cool and all, but it is getting harder and harder to keep what i hear in class cycling in my brain once i walk out of the door, which brings me to point two.
When in a classroom, it's easy to forget that there is an entire PLANET moving out there. People, places, music, sounds, nature are ticking and moving forward into time. Sometimes the information i learn in a classroom seems INFINITELY smaller than what i could learn just by walking the streets of a city i've never been too or by going to a country where nobody speaks English. There are human beings living experiences out there that may make them feel totally alone. Just for an example, someone i know found out their parents are getting a divorce. There are no words to describe the tragedy this brings to his heart. This guy is at an age where this isn't supposed to happen, where families go through hard times but divorce happens to other people. He has to wake up and go to class tomorrow as if life just keeps ticking without concern. His life has altered drastically, his future has just become full of question marks on the weekends, birthdays, graduations, parties, trips... what now? I understand picking yourself up and moving on, but it's one thing to get knocked down and quiet another to have a foot-wide hole blown through your chest. Yet i'm resolved to sitting in a class counting ticks.
What amazing production we've created.
Now when I'm out of class, i'm OUT OF CLASS. There are little books to be seen, but plenty of smiles and movement. My legs itch to be on the move, which is probably why i got talked into running five miles today. I don't think i've ever run that far in my life before, and i will not lie to tell you i enjoyed it. I'm glad i ran it, but i wanted nothing but to stop running after about 2.7 miles. Yet i thought over the whole run that strength is built from hardship, that when it comes to exercise, you get out what you put in.
Out of class, there are endless possibilities. Time spent with others, time spent alone, time spent projecting, drumming, swimming, maybe just exploring. I get OPTIONS outside of class. Kind of. Because school believes that being in class is not enough, you must study. I love educating myself. I love learning. I do not like being haunted by a list of things to do by tomorrow or next week. It isn't a strength of mine, keeping lists, which leads to me often forgetting things. The worst part is that even if i start up a list, i lose it faster than i can write down. A list of reminders does you no good if you lose it all the time. I digest.
I guess what the whole point is that i want to be part of this moving world, to learn as i go along. I'm not from the mindset that feels the need to properly educate myself to practice four years before launching into my resume building life. If i were building buildings, i would want to hang out with a builder four years rather than watch a professor draw diagrams and "examples" in a classroom. Live, walk, talk, eat, play, pray, work and work HARD. I want to sweat before the end of the day, get dirt under my fingernails and look another human being deep into their eyes to let them know they have my full attention for FREE.
End.
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